fireworks

I wouldn’t compromise my integrity by taking the shuttle to the A train this weekend. Instead, I chose to walk the 10 or so blocks from 225^th street to Isham (it would seem, numerically to be more than 10 blocks – but I really think it isn’t) and got into the station with no problem and at the exact moment an A train was pulling in. No rush, considering that it is the first stop and it usually sits there for a while. Lucky thing I wasn’t rushing too because people poured out and packed the staircases making it difficult to get down to the platform. I didn’t blame them. Of course, these were not only the people who live at or around 207^th street, but also those who live anywhere north of 207^th street and would normally be on the 1 train. Considering that Yonkers, on this side of town, starts at 263^rd street, this meant that an extra nearly-three miles worth of people were getting out of the train at once.

It seemed to me that, with that as a fact, and with the fact of the A train’s lengthy, time consuming run being taken into consideration, that at least some, if not lots of time would have to be taken at the 207^th street stop in order to not necessarily clean to the point of spic-n-span, but at least to do some straightening up before heading back all the way to Far Rockaway, or Ozone Park, or wherever this A train was going. So, you can imagine my shock when on the staircase still, I overheard the conductor’s announcement that the train would soon be leaving the station. Hearing this, I rushed down the steps and onto the train – perhaps knocking into some people along the way. As I suspected, the train was littered, and the floor sticky, with criss-crossing trails of spilled iced-tea and beer making patterns on the floor. It’s all part of the A train, which with each passing day acquires an increasingly “vintage” look.

At Dykman street, it was announced that the next stop would be 175^th street, thus skipping 190^th and 182st. What? Really? Can we really be that far behind schedule? Well, I guess that explains the hurry at 207^th and the lack of any attempt to straighten up the train for its run. But, really? I mean, there is no 1 train service, meaning that everyone who would normally get on the 1 train at 191^st or 181^st has to take the A train in order to go anywhere, so they had to take the elevator and go through that hardship just to get to the A in the first place. Add to them, the regular A passengers – and we just skip them by? It seems wrong, does it not? Forcing everyone onto the A train platform only to skip them. Even if we were behind “schedule” (in quotation marks because such a document has never been spotted posted in any public space), it would seem that any entity with a modicum of sympathy or ability to self-reflect would understand that the badwill wrought by skipping those at 190^th and 181^st will not be worth the apathetic goodwill of those at 175^th who had the train arrive on a mythical schedule.

Consider the following: the A train always – ALWAYS – travels at the speed of a snail between 145^th and 125^th streets. Why? It did so yesterday. Then also, after getting from 125^th street to 72^nd street at about the speed an express train would be expected to run – that is, fast with no interruption, the A mysteriously slowed down and then came to a complete stop between 72^nd street and 59^th. This is never warranted, though it would be slightly less unwarranted if there were a D train up ahead. However, nothing in the A train’s behavior up until that point had indicated that there was a train blocking traffic up ahead. Then, cutting through the tunnel’s darkness was a C train on the local track across the way. When the C train passed, the A got up the energy to finish its journey through to 59^th street. The C and the A entering the station together as though best friends holding hands.

Now, it is possible that the A train was really just stuck there and just so happened to fix whatever problem it was having as soon as the C passed it by (remember the fact that this train was so “behind schedule” that it needed to skip 190^th and 181^st streets). However, it is my theory that something more sinister is at play. Something so superficial and petty so as to constitute a scandal: It is my theory that the MTA designs it so that the two trains enter the station at the exact same moment so as to wow the passengers at the station with the plethora of options presented to them. To give the passengers a feeling of adundance. The passengers already on the train are but a captive audience – bit players in a lame fireworks display – one meant to elicit a small feeling of “wow” from the few while not caring about the groundswell of unhappy rebellion brewing among the many.

the 2 and 5 are in an abusive relationship

The 2 and 5 trains are in an abusive relationship. They are at their best when they are apart, and don’t know how to properly relate to each other when together. They try, though. They break up and make up in Brooklyn and the Bronx. In Manhattan they put on their best faces, go their separate ways and thrive. But, the allure of abusive love is too strong – so strong that even when they are at their most productive – whizzing through Manhattan at top speeds, this speed and efficiency only bolsters their egos, lets them think that they’ve mastered their issues so that coming back together will be a uniting of two strong forces. But as in any bad relationship, the pairing is not so much a sum of the two parts as it is a melding of the worst aspects of the two, as they infinitely seek the better half.

Let me explain: in Manhattan, the 2 and the 5 run express. So, if your commute is from uptown Manhattan to downtown, you might only know the 2 and the 5 as a lucky break that will get you to work faster. But, in Brooklyn – when the 5 decides to follow the 2 into Brooklyn – the two share a line through Flatbush all the way to Brooklyn College. This only happens at certain time so of day. Most other times, the 5 can’t take what it has coming and has to stop at the bottom of Manhattan. In the Bronx, the two come together almost immediately, at 149^th street, and continue onwards together until the Bronx Zoo, over some of the oldest, most rusted tracks I think we have in the system. After the Bronx Zoo, the two either fight or don’t. At times they are inseparable – riding together to the northern Bronx, happily to Nereid Ave. Other times, the fighting is too much for the 5 train to bear and it goes off on its own to Dyre Ave. Sometimes the 5 prefers to avoid the whole Bronx ordeal altogether and join with the 2 train only by chance, just to drop in as it runs express in the Bronx.

The relationship is doomed because the 5 train does not know itself. The 2 remains stalwart through it all, carrying of the largest burdens in the whole system – a three borough journey – a rare diagonal transversing of upper Manhattan, and the accompaniment of a fickle partner.

hot-car heroes

It is now the last weekend of October and according to the posters that have been placed on and around the 1 train over the course of the past month, this should be the last weekend of construction on the northernmost stations that have necessitated a transfer to the A train, and a shuttle bus in order to get in and out of the Bronx. But, no. Today, it was observed that a new posted has been made up, stating that the construction will extend through next weekend as well. I don’t bring this up because I am so surprised that the work was not finished by the time it was stated that it would be finished. I bring it up because it is annoying that they would even try to have us believe that this wouldn’t be the case in the first place. I am not expecting service to be normal any time soon on the weekends here in the western Bronx. In fact, I am pretty certain that by the time service is restored on the weekend, we will be so thoroughly accustomed to the process of getting to the A train that the restoration of Bronx 1 service will come across as an inconvenience in some way. Maybe you’ve developed an affinity for passing Isham Park. Maybe you like stopping off at Piper’s Kilt for a drink on your way to the Bronx, etc. You won’t have cause to do those things anymore if the 1 were actually working correctly…

The MTA has invested so much space and paper in announcing service delays and changes.

Meanwhile, getting on the 1 train today at 18^th street, I was hit with the oppressive heat of the non-climate controlled car. At times, it is possible to tell before even walking in the train if either the car has an especially pungent homeless person in it, or if the climate control is not working. These cars will be empty. Not today. Today’s commute was filled with hot-car heroes en route to a sweaty coronation. I walked between cars, despite its being illegal, and arrived in a less crowded, more climate controlled car. I’m not saying I’m Captain Air-Conditioning, but something must be done in terms of making the process of traveling through underground tunnels appear acceptable and unlike a horror movie. Actually, when in Stockholm over the summer, I was aghast to find out that their metros and trams did not have air-conditioning (and to boot, they had windows that opened like the windows on our subways, that is, they pull open in and down from the top so that the window angles all of the air up towards the ceiling where it does nobody much good). In Stockholm, the issue was that summers are so short that it was not worth the investment in climate control technology. I happened to visit during one of their hotter weeks, so I was given a bad impression. Apparently, it is the same throughout much of Europe.

In New York, though, why be a hot-car hero? Are people so lazy that they can’t be bothered to go to the next car to alleviate a situation that is bad (hot cars are always compounded by the fact that people rarely open the windows in these situations (I can recall a time when I opened the window on a hot car (which I stayed on only because the next car was jam packed) and the looks and comments I got from people were those that should be reserved for political liberators and true artists who’ve spoken for the disenfranchised). Are people beaten down by continual inconsistencies in service? Is there value to suffering? Or is it a way of protesting - like a hunger strike – people hope that an MTA official will come by, see the sweat dripping and the displeasure in people’s forehead rumples, feel bad, and change things? This will be a long wait…

lights out

Remember the 80’s? I do. Those were the days when the lights in the subway cars used to blink and flash and flat out go dark for long periods of time. During those periods of prolonged darkness were the perfect times to rob, molest, and stab people. Ah, the good old days. Of course, today we have electronic messages instructing us as to the fact that a crowded subway is in fact not a valid excuse for molesting people. But, no similar pronouncement is made for a darkened subway car. Such is the hubris of the MTA during their move towards electronifying messages and psa’s that they assumed that their subway cars would always be crowded, but not dark. But yet, here I was, stepping onto the 1 train this morning at 225^th street, only to realize that - no it wasn’t just the crust in my eyes – the reason I couldn’t read my magazine was that the lights were out!

This is not the first time in recent months (maybe last couple years, even) that I’ve been on a train with flickering lights a la the 80’s. But, I must admit that this was the first straight up light outage that I’ve sat through in recent decades. I can’t say that I was too worried for anyone in terms of getting robbed, molested, or stabbed. It seems that even with this recent economic downturn, recent cuts to service and obvious neglect by the MTA, enough people are still under the impression – falsely gotten during the 90’s and early 2000’s, that they are middle class – or that they will one day become upper class – that on a whole, New Yorkers aren’t acting up or risking their freedom to confront injustices. Still, as far as signs go, I consider light outages on subway cars to be a bad one. And by bad I mean that a day may come soon when a dark subway car will be something to avoid or if need be to come on and have need for all of your working senses. Just a prediction.

Another 80’s (and perhaps beyond) feature of subway transport, but one that is not true anymore, is the muffled sound of the train operator announcements. Of course, back then I don’t remember as many service change announcements, but it was my general rule to not even try to listen to announcements made over the loudspeaker because they sounded like they were made by a person gargling tennis balls. It was not a worthwhile use of time. This has been upgraded. Now, the speakers are used to give the bad news of the service changes – but at least the news is intelligible. Also, the speakers are used as a forum for the public to be admonished. “STEP IN AND STAND CLEAR OF THE CLOSING DOORS!” Yelled the train operator today. And I mean yelled. He used a voice that made me, for a moment, feel at fault for something even though I was sitting peacefully, trying to make out words on my magazine page in the dark.

Later in my commute, I was standing on the 3 train. I imagined a contraption whose purpose it was to persuade people not to crowd in front of the door. This would be a series of laser beams infesting the area directly in front of the doors (generally speaking, the width of the doorway, the height of the train, and the depth of the rows of seats. These lasers would activate upon the closing of the doors, and would liquefy, no, pulverize, no, disintegrate anyone who stood in that area. I understand that this would mean that the problem of crowding would simply shift inward, not disappear. But, it would at least give a better reason for crowding. As it stands, it is difficult to stomach people who’s lack of perspective on the world allows them them luxury of stepping through the threshold of the doorway and simply standing there as though no-one might come into the train after them. Then, when the next station arrives, they simply sift at a 90 degree angle so that they are standing perpendicular to the doorway, as though this makes them invisible. Seriously though – this is not a blog about complaining about people. But, it should be mentioned that in this author’s viewpoint, it is perfectly acceptable to walk through people who are standing in the doorway of a subway car. It is also acceptable to raise your elbows when people begin entering the train before you’ve exited. Other than those quibbles, I am for the people…

crown jewel

When the 1 train pulled into 96^th street, there was a 3 train across the platform. However, as the 1 slowed down to its stop, the 3 began pulling out. I don’t mind this. I mean, I don’t like it; I would rather be able to make the connection. But, I don’t mind it on a service level. If the 3 train arrived at the station, opened its doors, let people out, let people on, and left the station – and when it left the station it happened to be at the exact moment that the 1 train pulled in across the platform then I’m okay with that. Now, I wish I had been able to make the connection so that I could have gotten to where I was going a bit earlier. But, I am not personally offended that the train did not wait to make the connection (There have been times, on the other hand, when I have been on the equivalent of that 3 train, sitting and waiting in a station for a long time only to pull out at the moment the 1 train pulled in across the platform. This is an incomprehensible practice.) in and of itself. This is a point of difference between myself and others. I have had conversations with more than one person who has used, upon entering a conversation about frustrating MTA situations, the example of a possible connecting train leaving the station at the moment when their train enters as the pinnacle, or absolute epitome of the inefficiency we must live with on a daily basis. I beg to differ. I would beseech such people to think outside of themselves a bit.

If an express train arrives in a station and has to wait, say, two minutes for a local to arrive in order to make a connection, then for those who have just arrived on the connecting local, that express train may as well have pulled into that station mere seconds ago. They don’t care. They are just happy that they can make an easy connection. They are convenienced. However, the people who are on that express train, who are forced to wait on a non-moving train are deeply inconvenienced. The people at the next station who are forced to wait an extra two minutes for their train are deeply inconvenienced not only by the extra wait, but also by the fact that two minutes worth of new passengers have come streaming into the station. So, not only are the trains two minutes later, but they are also two minutes more crowded – and this obviously compounds itself over time and subsequent stations. So, for the convenience of some, many are inconvenienced. And, what are the negative consequences of having people not have a train waiting for them to transfer to as they pull in on the local train? Well, if trains are running as they should – say, every five minutes during rush hour – then the most they will have to wait for a train is five minutes. There is an 80% chance that it will be less than five minutes. A reasonable amount, I would say. In the particular case of the 96^th street stop, there are two different express trains that might come, so really on average a train should be coming every two and a half minutes. This is a more than reasonable time for people who were on the 1 train to wait for a connecting express. The fact that people see an express train waiting in the station for local passengers to transfer to as a convenience only speaks to people’s selfishness and short-sightedness. I would, without hesitation, admit to considering the practice of holding trains in the station for the purposes of making connections with other trains to be the MOST INANE OF ALL INEFFICIENT MTA PRACTICES.

Anyway, I got off the 1 and waited for the 2, which came after more than a couple of minutes. I was standing over some young women and cringed to hear their conversations about fashion and bodies and orgies and other utterly expected topics. One strain of their conversation went to the body of a twenty-nine year old friend of theirs, who they all agreed that they would want to look like when they reach “that age”.

We pulled into the Times Square station at the same time as a 1 train – which was the 1 train I had been on in the first place. I transferred back to that 1 train, remembering my theory about getting off at 18^th being better then getting off at 14^th in my particular situation. However, the 1 train thwarted my plan by proceeding to sit in the station for a few minutes until the next 3 train arrived – so as to make a connection. I was, of course, incensed. And, there was a roach on the seat next to mine. I knocked it off with my book and it flew over near the boot of a woman sitting across from me (knee high boot, of course). I know she saw the whole thing happen, but she did not meet my eye to commiserate. She did not stomp on the roach, either.

divided

The F train was pulling into 14^th street as I began descending the stairs to the station. I heard it shriek to a stop, but I didn’t hurry up or anything, hoping to avoid an embarrassing situation where the train doors slam in my face as I am panting. I simply walked down the stairs, went through the turnstyle (I admit – perhaps a bit quickly to beat out the person heading toward the same turnstyle from the other direction), and carefully avoided the people walking up the stairs as I walked down. By the time I got to the lower half of the staircase and noticed that the train was still sitting there and only then did I hurry my pace a bit, because while I didn’t want to be shut out by the closing door, I felt it would have looked even dumber to have been shut out due to ostentatiously playing it cool.

I mention this not only to bring to you the inner workings of the mind of someone boarding the subway, but to try to illustrate approximately how long the F train had been sitting in the station. Well, needless to say, I got on the F train with a slight trot, and it sat in the station for even another couple of minutes. This is all quite enough time for any trains that this one might have been trailing to clear out ahead. However, even once the train did leave the station, it crept and crawled, crept and crawled.

By the time we got to 34^th street, the train was outlandishly crowded and the conductor was getting upset with people for holding the doors open. The inevitable announcement came, alerting people that they would be advised to wait for the next train, as it is right behind this one. But, of course the next train is right behind this one. It had probably started off about five to eight minutes behind this one, as per the schedule. But, with the speed this train was running, of course the train behind it had caught up. So then what was the problem? Having a train tailing another train is not good practice, and the avoidance of that very situation was the only possible reason I had thought of for the train staying at 14^th street for so long. So, if we don’t care about having trains trail each other – and in fact advertise it as a way to appease customers who don’t fit on to crowded trains – then why did we wait at 14^th street and then creep along the rest of the way? (by the way, I waited at the Lexington avenue stop, where I got off, to check to see that there was in fact another train right behind this one – and there was.) A possible answer for this one is that not only do they not not mind having trains trail each other, but they actually like it! They would rather have a window of 2 minutes at a given station where service is quick and trains are abundant, than the mundanity of consistent, reliable service. It is part of the [escalating nerves à release] cycle of emotions that we are manipulated into. Waiting, waiting, waiting, abundance.

After 34^th street, and the conductor angrily telling people not to crowd and to stand clear of the doors and that the doors can’t close unless you stop holding them, etc. the train crept away. No sooner than it was out of the station did the electronic message play, telling people to guard their belongings and not display them, especially electronic devices. I find it ironic that they would employ an electronic device to tell us all to not display electronic devices. Such is their self-assuredness and confidence that we are all so desperate for guardian figures that we would accept hypocritical and patronizing messages from a subway car. Of course, we were also reminded, by the electronic voice, to “remain alert and have a safe day.” Soon thereafter, a woman was trying to get off the train and knocked into another woman, who got angry and yelled, “say excuse me!” Tensions were high, manners were sought. But, how can we think about manners when we are so busy remaining alert? Seriously though, people shouldn’t let the electronic messages divide us. Just because it is implied that everyone on the train is a thief and after your electronic devices, or a pervert who wants to molest you just because the train is crowded, doesn’t mean that we have to be rude to each other. The fact that the train is so crowded that it is hard to move is more to blame for the person bumping into you – not their bad manners. The reason the train is so crowded is because it spent so much time at 14^th street taking on waves and waves of passengers and allowing waves and waves of waiting passengers to accumulate at the subsequent stations.

"accident"

Again, the 6 train took its time getting to Union Square. I was waiting in the station for seven minutes and the platform was packed by the time I got there – I doubt a train had just left. When it did come, everyone packed on to the train as per normal and I didn’t have to be involved with any of the next-to-the-door choreography politics since I was going deep into the Bronx and wouldn’t have to worry about the door for another forty five minutes. As the train got peopled, an announcement came over the loudspeaker indicating that the train was sitting in the station for an extra few minutes at the behesting of one “train dispatcher.” I’m not exactly sure why this would have happened, but I wasn’t surprised. Between 14^th street and 42^nd street, the train rested in each station for an extra 10 or so seconds – not enough time to warrant an announcement, but enough to be noticeable and to allow ones sense that something is not quite right to begin activating. At Grand Central, the train became even more packed and the conductor came on, a male voice, stating that customers should not despair because “there are trains behind us” and that “all available doors” should be used. “Are people using unavailable doors?” said a man speaking to his younger female friend. All in all, the male conductor’s voice was fairly relaxed and cordial, but then a female voice came over the loudspeaker a bit more agitated to announce that “We are having delays, so there is crowding. If you don’t fit in the train step aside of the doors and wait for the next train!” and I thought this was odd. I mean, clearly the train was having delays. But, if I remembered correctly, the delay was at least partially created by the fact that the train had been held in Union Square for mysterious reasons by the “dispatcher.” And then, delays were compounded by extended stays in each of the subsequent stations. How do all of these things fit together? Is there some different word that we should be using other than “delay” to describe when trains come late due to non-technical or mechanical issues? The train being held in the station by the “dispatcher” is not a delay – it is a purposeful act. Anyway, I don’t know that the vocabulary exists to describe what that is, which makes it all the more frustrating. Like, when someone pretends to pour water on your head just to mess around, and then winds up actually pouring the water on you – even if he didn’t mean to wet you, can that really be called an accident? Not really. But, I don’t think we have a word for that…

Anyway, at 59^th street the announcement was made that 86^th street would be the next stop. We would bypass the next few stops. I can only presume that this measure is taken so as to atone for the “delays” and to bring the train back closer to “schedule.” But I ask this: who cares about a subway schedule? Just send the trains and keep regular service! So, at 86^th street, some of the people waiting there might not have had to have waited as long for their train to arrive as a result of the skipping many stops method of delay correction. But, even more people are inconvenienced. Everyone that had to get off at 68^th and 77^th was inconvenienced because they had to get off the train and wait for another. Everyone waiting at the platform on 68^th and 77^th street was inconvenienced because not only did they have to wait for an extended period of time, but now they had to watch a train pass them by for no reason and wait for an extra few minutes for the next train. Basically, everything gained by skipping the stops is lost from the perspective of those who either get off or on at 68^th or 77^th. Not to mention that after 59^th street, with the exception of 125^th street, more people are getting off than on the train, so crowding wouldn’t be the issue. So again, why skip the stops? To maintain a schedule? Then why hold the train in the station at Union Square?

respectfully...

At the Union Square station, the 4, 5, 6 platform was such that people’s stomachs were touching other people’s backs. It was rush hour, so, fair engouh – it’s always like that. Still, it got worse every second. I was waiting for the 6 train in particular, so when the 5 came I had no other emotion besides a vague hope that the station would clear out just a bit. No such luck, a certain amount of people crushed onto the 5, but just as many got out to wait for the 6. The platform was as it was except for the particular stomachs touching the particular backs. Some more time passed before the 6 train came and of course by that time, the platform was nearly unbearable, and getting on the train itself was an effort. Whenever this is the case, and it is usually somewhere between midtown and downtown Manhattan, where the subways are so, so packed – there are always a few tourists on the train that find the whole thing fun and charming. This time was no exception – some Brits, not holding on, and giggling each time they stumbled and knocked into someone. New Yorkers rolled their eyes. Also, usually, in this situation is the guy who is saying the things that everyone is kind of thinking: “Hey! Move in, there is plenty of space in the middle!” This time was no exception either. There is always plenty of space in the middle of the car because people like, or, would rather crowd around the door than move all the way in because they don’t want to get stuck in the middle of the car when it is their turn to get off. The guy trying to squeeze in and telling everyone to move in was a large guy with a deep, booming voice. The type of voice that is probably used to getting what it wants. He had a good sense of humor too. One woman, a type who was probably in her thirties but looked fifty, angry and with lines in her face, muttering to herself and shaking her head, called back, “Where do you want us to go? You want us to just push people?” Everyone else just pretended they heard neither person. The man, realizing he had found someone who was probably a bit emotionally fragile, kept repeating himself and pointing out spots where there was space. No-one moved, but the woman kept muttering and shaking her head with increased purpose. The man whispered into his girlfriend’s ear and pointed at the woman with his chin each time he was about to say something. The girlfriend made like she was embarrassed, but you could tell she thought the whole thing was funny.

Then,

The conductor came on the loudspeaker when we got to 23^rd street to let everyone know that they should not push, not crowd, not worry, because there is another train right behind this one. In fact, he said, people should consider not even getting on this train. Nobody listened, of course, and the announcement was made at each and every station (until 59^th street when the train emptied out to a reasonable riding capacity) with increased exasperation. Now, perhaps there was another train right behind this one. Perhaps people would have been better off waiting for that train – maybe everyone would have been overall more comfortable. But, why should it come to that? The problem isn’t really that people are so impatient and overzealous to get on the train. The problem is that they’ve been waiting for 10 minutes during rush hour and they don’t want to wait another 10 minutes. Why should we take it at its word that there is another train right behind this one? What does right behind mean? How do we know that train wont be just as crowded? Why should it be like that? Why not just send the trains out at regular intervals? I mean, Union Square is fairly early into the run of the 6 train - some 5 stops in. in those 5 stops, there are no connections to make – there were no trains ahead of this one delaying it (I know that because I waited for 10 minutes and no train passed). If the train is irregularly crowded it is because trains are not being sent out at regular intervals, not because people don’t know how to get on trains and are impatient. So, the next time you hear that announcement – not to crowd on to the trains and to wait for the next train that is right behind this one, think about why the situation came up in the first place. Think about the structure of the announcements and the ways in which they are structured to put people at fault for being impatient and somehow bad (and I would not blame the conductors for this – I realize that it is not as though they are writing and developing these announcements…). What these announcements should say is: “we fucked up again. There is another train right behind this one, and we are not telling this to you because we are proud of ourselves. We are totally aware of the fact that having a train right behind this one is reflective of our poor scheduling practices and might even be some sort of psychological experiment to pack you onto trains in a dehumanizing kind of way and see what happens. I must say, you have all comported yourselves wonderfully. Still, all things considered, and again, we are deeply apologetic about the fact that we’ve put you in this situation (you will be reimbursed at the exit, don’t worry. You will also be given chocolate.), the train behind this one is most likely less crowded than the one you are on. I am giving you my promise that the train is no more than one station behind this one. If you get off this train and have to wait more than sixty seconds for the next one to arrive, then you will get a free monthly metro-card. So, do as you please – you are, after all, the paying customer – but, just know that the option is there for you to take the train behind this one.”

pacifiers

Oh, I’m not saying that the MTA isn’t doing anything for the betterment of their service. No, the word “betterment” there is an imprecise one. I think I mean, “advancement.” “Advancement” implies that things are being done, but it is a pretty value-neutral word. Advancement is not necessarily a good thing; it just implies that things are being done to spruce up old systems. Clearly, what I am about to discuss is not something I feel value-neutral about. So, you may ask, why use a value-neutral word?

Anyway, the issue is this: there are a number of computerized messages forced upon subway riders of New York City. These are mainly, but not exclusively in the newer trains (which aren’t so new anymore). The voices are not computerized in the older trains. I don’t want to go on about each and every message right now. However, while I was on the 2 train this morning, between 72^nd and 42^nd street, a whole cluster of messages was played one after the other, all ending the same way: “remain alert, and have a safe day.” “Remain alert?” “Have a safe day?” What are we? Scared rabbits on the African savannah? Are these the most important things that a train can think to tell its customers? Are we really meant to believe that the train has our best interests in mind in the midst of this dangerous world? Why not, “Have a good day” or “Have a day in which you get to your destinations on time”? Something the train could actually do something about… well the obvious answer is that it is a tool of pacification.

Also a tool of pacification: the digitized timers that tell you when the trains are going to arrive. I think they currently only have them on the L, 1, and 6 lines – though I could be wrong. I was originally all for this, since it is such an easy technology to employ. I mean, cell phones have gps on them these days – I think the subway system can manage some sort of location technology. But, as I see them in action, all I can see is a tool of pacification. First of all, if they really wanted to do any good, they should put the timers outside the station so that people could see whether they had to run down the stairs to catch a train, or see if they had time to go get a coffee or something like that before the train arrives. But no. The way the timers are placed now, you have to be down in the station already in order to see when the next train will be arriving. Yes, it is nice to know on some level, but it doesn’t change anything. The whole idea is to pacify people. Make them less impatient. Subdue the New Yorker’s urge to lean over the edge of the platform and peek down the tunnel. Make it so that people might seem less justified in complaining. Pacify them into thinking that everything is under control.

the voids

People think that there is a great void, or, a black hole that exists underneath the seats on the subway. They get on and, usually will be eating something and then throw the bag from which the food came underneath the seat, on the floor. Generally speaking, great care is taken to ball and crumple up the bag so that it is as compact as can be (presumably so that it will fit all the more snug in the black hole). This is the worst type of person, perhaps, in the world. First of all, littering is ridiculous in New York City – we have garbage cans on every corner. It is dirty, it shows a lack of any type of meaningful thinking: what is going to happen to the garbage after you throw it on the ground? How does this affect other people? Would I be happy living here if everyone acted this way? These types of socially responsible questions, which reflect a certain order of though, are nonexistent. Then there is the aspect of the people just not caring at all, or, feeling entitled to act any way they want. Now, when it comes to the subways, I understand that people might feel entitled to some services they are not necessarily receiving – like consistent subway service, for one. And, I also understand that it is perhaps a behavior that is born out of some sense of alienation to begin with. Still. It’s nasty and easy to not do. A woman, however, did it at 157^th street. From then on she looked like a pig monster to me. Every mouth movement of her chewing looked like something out of 2 girls 1 cup.

I got out at 96^th street to transfer to the express even though it wasn’t already in the station. I was running late and I knew it would be soon. The 1 train I had been on waited in the station until the 3 arrived. When the 3 pulled into the station, the 1 pulled out. Many people I’ve talked to see this act – the pulling out of one train while another arrives – as the most insidious of all train scheduling maneuvers. I would respectfully disagree, however, and say that the waiting in the first place is the most insidious.

Anyway, the 3 was running well. Aside from yet another woman balling something up and putting it under the seat (this time it was a Metro newspaper that was left on the seat for the next passenger, who was her but she didn’t want it), the ride was painless until we left 34^th street. As the train was passing by the 18^th street station, we slowed to a crawl and then stopped altogether. We were stuck there for three and a half minutes, during which time I contemplated just going in between cars and hopping off the train. I didn’t do it for a few reasons: the reason was not that I was afraid of the third rail – I’m not Ramo. The two reasons that i consciously thought of were a) if the train started moving while I was climbing out, it would have caused me an embarrassing death with perhaps my foot trapped in the train and my head bouncing off of each post separating the tracks. It was partially a romantic thought, that I should perish symbolically as a martyr for the cause of good train service and not frustrating people to the point where they are willing to do life risking stuff just to get to work. I would be an anti-capitalist, pro-commuter symbol in that way. But, without having written a manifesto beforehand, I would simply be a guy who died in a stupid way on the subway. I know how those guys are treated, and it isn’t flattering. The other reason was that I didn’t want my hands to get so dirty when propelling myself up onto the platform. It was too early in the morning to have such dirty hands – even for a farmer. The announcement made was that a 2 train was in the 14^th street station having trouble getting out. It is always the train ahead of you’s fault. This can’t always be that case, but that train makes an easy scapegoat as people are already a bit upset at that train for having left before they could catch it.

Later in the day, I was on the 6 train, which had an entire car non-functional. That is, an entire car empty and with its doors unable to open. This was during afternoon rush hour. Aside from being appalled at the low-budgetness of it all, I was actually a bit sad to see such a lifeless, white and grey prototype passing by, devoid of all the human happiness contained in its neighboring cars. Poor it.

playing catch-up

The 1 train was held by the dispatcher at 137^th street after creeping into the station from 145^th. Normally when I complain about the train being held, it’s because I know for a fact that there is no other train in front of the one I’m in and therefore no reason for the hold-up. In this particular case, I was not able to make such an assumption because I had to run up the stairs two by two in order to catch the train waiting at the 225^th street station, so I didn’t have any way of knowing how long it had taken for that train to arrive and thus how reasonable it was to be held by the dispatcher at 137^th. I mean, in my mind, it is never reasonable to be held in a station – but it’s less reasonable when a 10 minute gap has preceded the arrival of a train at any given station.

At 116^th street, the next station was announced as being 103^rd street, but it was not announced that 110^th street was being skipped. Nobody seemed alarmed by this, perhaps because no-one heard the announcement perhaps because everyone was wearing headphones, or maybe that they just know the tone taken when being told that their stop would be skipped and the tone in this case was a casual tone. The mistake was never addressed and anyway it was clear for some invisible reason that he had simply meant to say 110^th street but didn’t. Since I was only 2 stops removed from being held in a station by the dispatcher, and was feeling generally spiteful towards the MTA, it occurred to me that this type of human error would have been unlikely were we on the 2 or 6 or L or any of the other mechanized voice trains. I shook that thought from my head, though, as mechanized voice trains are the primary villain in the saga of the subway commuter. I will get to why one of these days.

We pulled into 96^th street at the same time as a 2 train and I was able to run across the platform for a transfer. On the 2 train, we passed a 1 train at 66^th street and another at 50^th street. Although the 2 slowed to a crawl after passing the 1 train at 50^th street, letting that train then pass the 2 once again, yet it still waited at 42^nd street with doors open until the 2 train riders were able to transfer across the platform. I was one of those tranferers. I was ambivalent about the transfer for a second or two because I thought to myself that if the 1 train then waited at 42^nd street for the next express to come, I would have begun talking out loud. But, I decided that it was worth it anyway because were I to get off the express at 14^th street, I would really be at 12^th street because I was all the way at the front of the train (I didn’t have time to walk to my normal spot on the platform at 225^th street). I would have to walk back up to 17^th street and the time I gained by staying on the express would have been lost by being farther from my eventual destination. The 18^th street exit on the 1 train, on the other hand, is more toward the middle of the station, so even if I was at the front of the train, I wouldn’t have too much extra walking to do. As it turned out, everything was fine and all trains left when they should.

I was trying, however, to think of how much time I had saved by transferring to the 2 and then catching up with not one, but two 1 trains and arriving at 18^th street two 1 trains ahead of where I got on at 225^th. I figured that by the time we passed the 1 train at 66^th street, the 1 train I had originally been on would have been at, say, 79^th street. This was a difference of only 2 stops between 1 trains. This is, if everything is running correctly, about two minutes between trains. But, another 1 train was also passed at 50^th street – just another two stops away and thus another difference of two minutes. Using this logic, if I were to have arrived at 225^th street four minutes before I did, I would have been on the train that I eventually wound up on. Something tells me, though, that this is not the case. Trains do not usually come two minutes after one another. They are not scheduled to, anyway. At rush hour, they are generally scheduled four minutes apart, or so. There were some delays. I think I would have had to get to the 225^th street station, I estimate, eight minutes before I did in order to get the 1 train I wound up arriving at 18^th street on. That’s what I think. The sad news is that I was still late to work…

Later in the day, the R train was found going at a reduced speed between 28^th street and 34^th street. No explanation. There was also a +5 second time differential between when the conductor announced that we should stand clear of the closing doors, and the actual closing of the doors. A guy and a girl – perhaps colleagues, discussed the authenticity of a homeless man asking for money. To the guy, he did not smell bad enough to warrant full homeless status. He postulated that while there may be showers in shelters, people didn’t really use them all that much. This guy did not smell bad. The guy thought that train begging was a “pretty good gig.” For the girl, his authenticity didn’t matter – if he had had a kid, though, with him – she would have given money, no questions asked.

[un]just used

I was late already and I knew that the 1 train was not running because it is the weekend, but still I was late and rather than take the shuttle bus that is supposed to be a replacement for the 1 train (but that I consider simply a cake instead of bread type option), I decided to walk to the A train stop at 211^th street (the 207^th street stop). It isn’t too far away and the streets seem to skip numbers up here. As it turned out, the shuttle bus was there waiting for me at 225^th and broadway, so I demeaned myself and ran towards it. My shoelace was untied and I took my metrocard out of my wallet only to see that the ride was free – a piece of paper blocking the metrocard entry point. I tied my shoe on the bus and the bus left with some seats open and nobody standing. Next stop, 215^th street, where nobody got on. Finally, after only a couple of pain free minutes, we were at 211^th street and I got off and rushed down the stairs into the station so as to beat the rush of people who I imagined might be taking my spot, or getting in my way, or slowing me down, or other such crimes. When I swiped my card, however, I was told to swipe again at this turnstyle. Then, I was told to swipe again at this turnstyle again – and again until the next time when the screen told me that I had just used my card. This meant another 18 minutes until I could use it again to get on the subway. This would not do. I was already late. Not to mention – I hadn’t just used my card. Since everyone has been fired, there was no clerk to complain to. Everything was made of metal and porcelain, so I had nothing to punch, and as it turned out, the automated metro card machines were broken (an orange cone stood in front of them), so there was basically no way I could get in. I couldn’t even hop because there were no turnstyles, really – just revolving gates. I really was late, so there was no time to scream and call for revolution at the moment. The woman behind me commiserated with me, stating that it was weird what had happened. She had seen the whole thing transpire. She got in just fine.

So, I ran, or trotted down to 207^th street to try to get in that entrance. I was upset and had decided that I would hop if necessary. I wound up following a woman with a stroller in through the buzz-in gate. The A train was waiting there and I got on the 4^th car and sat there for 2-3 minutes before it left. To my surprise, given that it is the weekend, the A ran express. I was pleased, but remembered not to be pleased – that it was supposed to be running express. It is my theory that the MTA these days is going for the type of credit that Chris Rock decries: trying to get credit for things you are supposed to do. I remembered to not give that credit so easily and wore a scowl. By the time I got off the train at 125^th, there was three strollers on the train – one a high one so that the head of the baby was taller than the head of the mother when they were both seated.

self determination in commuting

Most of my attitude towards trains and train travel come from the fact that my father was a worker for the MTA. I mean, I think that every kid, especially boys, have an affinity for trains at some point in their lives; and it is not as though I consider myself an aficionado or anything like that. But I do like trains, and like millions of other New Yorkers, and like hundreds of other millions of people worldwide, I take an active interest in the way trains run, especially insofar as it affects my life on a daily basis and in that on the way to work early in the morning, one does not feel good being reminded about the extent to which one is not in control of one’s own comings and goings, so that the interruption of service is therefore even more of an insidiously nefarious force than can be apologized for in a pre-recorded, computerized voice and then forgotten.